I want to laugh, I want to cry
I want to live, I want to die
I want to love, I want to hate
I’m trapped in a disagreeable state
I want a hug, but stay away
I want a friend, but not today
I want to be alone, but please don’t leave
I’ve lost nothing, but I must grieve
I want to be loved, but let no one in
I fight this battle again and again
I want to walk, I want to crawl
I want to get up, but again I fall
I want to hurt, I want to heal
I want to be numb, I want to feel
I want to be heard, but not to speak
I want to find, but not to seek
I want help, but will not ask
I want to be open, but wear a mask
I feel like I am set apart
because of this battle I feel in my heart
I never know what to expect from me
I pray for God to set me free